Searching for Aspirations...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim….

These few days had been a struggle. A struggle for me to study and keep pushing myself to the maximum limit. Yesterday, I guess, I was tired. I was unable to focus at all. Frustrated tears were streaming down my face as I lie down to sleep, praying that today my drive to study would climb up again. Hence I try to write this today, with the hope to motivate myself, get myself to gain the momentum to study again.

The study week… for some students, this is the time to do last minute study. For others, it is just a time to do some revision. For me, perhaps it is a little bit of both. A time to complete missing personal notes and commit everything to memory.

Searching for some self-motivations, I seek Him and prayed for strength, for ease of mind, and purity if heart. I am afraid that the knowledge did not enter my mind due to the many sins I had committed in the past. I try to refocus back on my aim to study, for myself, my parents, for the society, and most importantly for Allah.

I fell asleep last night with my mind pondering all these… Alhamdulillah, waking up, I felt more focused and more motivated to study. And I suddenly remembered a nasyeed I used to sing a long time ago, at grade 6 (as a theme song for our UPSR that year)

Ummat Islam harus cemerlang

Hari ini mesti lebih baik dari semalam..

Jangan buang masa

Siapa kata kita tidak boleh

Kita ada Allah maha Kuasa

Kita punya kuasa tenaga

Doa sebagai senjata....

Then I smiled to myself,”Yes, I am a Muslim... I can do this, with Your help, InsyaAllah…”

Thank you Allah…

Thanks to the memories…

To my parents who have always prayed and motivated me on

To the teachers and murabbi who thought me of life

To friends who are always there to remind me, and push me foreword…

Please pray for me… 1^st paper is at 3^rd November…

**this may be my last post until the exams are over… but who knows, maybe if I have something to write out, I will. Wallahu’alam…

Getting out of the Comfort Zone

Waking up this morning by the shrill music of my hand phone alarm, I groaned sleepily. Yet, as the loud sound bugged my sleep again and again, I forced myself to look at the time. As sleep wore off, I remembered the purpose of the early-morning call.

Mentally motivating myself to wake up, I finally get out of the comfort of my bed to the washroom and get ready for Solah. Yes, that’s the purpose of the early-morning call. Admittedly, I have not been doing much Qiamullail lately. Perhaps since I am studying until late at night, it has been more and more difficult to wake up in the early hours to pray. The comforts of the bed and the ‘nafs’ inside told me to carry on with my beauty sleep. To pamper myself for a while more until fajr for the Subuh prayer.

Yet, I realize that somehow or other, the old trend had to go. I have to stop cherishing my sleep too much, and to pamper my nafs less. Studying hard, that is a must. But it is only for this temporary world. Qiamullail is also a must (although not wajib). This is because the latter is both for my happiness in this world and the hereafter.

In this world, a calm heart can only be found if one is close to the Creator, and always have Him to turn to at every point of life. And it is mostly in the early hours, and the earliest moments of the day, that we can strengthen this relationship. At a time when everyone else is in dreamland, confined to the comforts of their beds. This is a time when Allah seeks out those who are searching for Him, for His help and guidance, for forgiveness and repentance. No, it is not that He would not listen at other times, it is just the best time to pour our hearts, as He said in numerous verses of the Quran, He is nearest to His servants then.

Today I had decided. I decide to change my study style, hopefully until the finals, and until I graduate. To stay-up less, and wake up earlier instead. So that I can study after qiam. Sure, it is not a norm yet, and will somewhat be difficult. But I know it is time. Time to get out of my own comfort zone. For one of the many things that I had learnt in this road of self improvement thru tarbiyyah is that sometimes, you just have to force yourself. To get out of the comfort zone, and push yourself to become a better person, to be a better you.

I posted this, not to tell everyone of what I did this morning. No, not to brag of my resolves. Just so that all of you can make a du’a that I can be Istiqamah in the amal, and have strength to improve myself. Also a call for us all, to try our hardest to improve ourselves, in any way we found possible, in all aspects available, be it in terms of ibadah, akhlaq, studies, Islamic knowledge, in our day-to-day interactions, and even in our work for Islam.

Lastly, remember that a butterfly will not be beautiful had it not come out of its cocoon. Nor will a person. If we stay happily in our bed of comforts, we will not go out far. A person will be beautiful, a true character only if he worked his way into becoming a mu’min and muttaqin, despite the many trials and setbacks. May Allah give us the strength to increase ourselves, our faith, imaan and knowledge in this path towards Him. Ameen…

I'm Not Afraid to Stand Alone

Just want to share..
the words touched me to the core, for sometimes i do feel sort of alone too..
Song by: Native Deen

I am not afraid to stand alone
I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
I am not afraid to stand alone
Everything is gonna be alright
I am not afraid to stand alone
Going keep my head up high

I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
Everything is going be alright
Going to keep my head up high

Single mother raising her children
And Now she's a Muslim
Started praying and wearing a headscarf
It Was a healing for her heart

Struggling with no one to lean on
But with prayer she would be strong
Had a job but then she was laid off
Got a better education and it paid off

She was called for a job that she dreamed of
Close by, great pay -she was in love --
They brought her in -- told her shes the 1 pick
You got the job, but you gotta lose the outfit"

It's a tough position that you put me in
Cause look at my condition, and my two children
But I'll continue looking for a job again
Cause my faith and my religion I will never bend

I am not afraid to stand alone
I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
I am not afraid to stand alone
Everything is gonna be alright
I am not afraid to stand alone
Going keep my head up high

I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
Everything is going be alright
Going to keep my head up high

Peer pressure, they were insisting
And I was resisting
Some days.... I felt I would give in
Just wanted to fit in

I know.....when I'm praying and fasting'
They be teasing and laughing
So I called to my Lord for the power
For the strength every day, every hour...

one day there's a new Muslim teacher
Single mom and the people respect her
Just seeing.... her strength I get stronger
They can break my will no longer

You don't see me sweatin' when they're jokes cracking
Never see me cussing' with my pants saggin'
I aint never running Yo Im still standing,
sorry I aint jumping on your band wagon, cause...

I am not afraid to stand alone
I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
I am not afraid to stand alone
Everything is gonna be alright
I am not afraid to stand alone
Going keep my head up high

I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
Everything is going be alright
Going to keep my head up high

Now, I'm a tough one, who can bear their blows
The rest play dumb, they don't dare say no
Scared of being shunned, but its clear they know
I aint never gonna run, I aint scared no more....

Man, these sisters be resolute
Never stressed when the rest say they wasn't cute
And the get the respect of the other youth
Come best with the dress yo and thats the truth

These sisters are strong gonna hand it down
So me Im a brotha gotta stand my ground
No fear, Im tough Im the man in town
Peer pressure no more, its my planet now

Others may fall, but Im hold my own
With Allahs help I'll be strong as stone
And I'll be the one to let Al Islam be shown
Cause I am not afraid yo to stand alone

I am not afraid to stand alone
I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
I am not afraid to stand alone
Everything is gonna be alright
I am not afraid to stand alone
Going keep my head up high

I am not afraid to stand alone
If Allah is by my side
Everything is going be alright
Going to keep my head up high

Candy and Vinegar

Really like this article.. so i decided to share it here.. Taken from: http://msmlondon.wordpress.com/2008/03/09/candy-and-vinegar/

Once upon a time, there were two shops. One was selling candy and the other – vinegar. Between the two shop owners there was intense rivalry.

VS

The vinegar shop was a great success compared to the one selling candy. Every single customer who visited the vinegar shop would always come out of it with ‘gallons’ of vinegar while the customers of the candy shop would come out empty handed.

This imbalance went on for awhile until one day, the candy seller decided to close down the shop. Feeling disgruntled and perplexed at the same time, he said to himself: “I just can’t leave in this state. I must go down to the vinegar shop and ask the vinegar seller the reason for the secret of his success.”

So, he went down to the vinegar shop said to the vinegar seller: “Listen here now; I sell candy – something that is nice and sweet. Everybody loves candy. But you, you are selling vinegar – something that is nasty, sour and disliked by most people. Can you please explain to me how you can sell much more than me?”

“Well, perhaps it is because I sell vinegar with a candy face but you sell candy with a vinegar face,” replied the vinegar seller, smiling.

One of the more important lessons we can grasp from this story is that the nature of the product one is trying to sell has little bearing on its sales. In fact, the product can be very nice and sweet, but what matters more is how one presents one’s self, and the product, in the process.

We are reminded in the Quran that the Prophet (pbuh) was sent as a mercy to all mankind.

As described by Allah (swt) in Surah al-Anbiyaa’, verse 107:

وما أرسلنك إلا رحمة للعلمين

107. We sent Thee not, but As a Mercy for all creatures.

We also know that the Prophet (pbuh) is the best and most beautiful example that anyone can find, as is described by Allah (swt) in Surah al-Ahzab, verse 21:

لقد كان لكم في رسول الله أسوة حسنة لمن كان يرجوا الله واليوم الأخر وذكر الله كثيرا

21. Ye have indeed In the Messenger of Allah a beautiful pattern (of conduct) for any one whose hope is In Allah and the final Day, and who engages much In the Praise of Allah.

From the Seerah of the Prophet (pbuh) that we read to each other and discuss in our circles and gatherings, we know that even though the people of Quraisy detested and vilified the Prophet (pbuh) for delivering the message and the revelation sent to him by Allah (swt), they never denied that he (pbuh) had excellent manners and attitudes that were very well respected by them.

Let us ponder and reflect on this.

To what extent do we make our Prophet (pbuh) as our role-model in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives?

Let us strive to improve ourselves, to become better Muslim individuals. Let us make an effort to understand what it means to become Muslim individuals who have sound creed, correct worship, robust bodies and excellent characters bar none. Let us strive together to become Muslim individuals who are knowledgeable and able to earn a living, Muslims individuals who strive against their own whims and lust, Muslims individuals who are keen on time, well organized and useful to others. Let us also strive to understand our Deen more thoroughly and what is meant by ‘doing da’wah work’.

All these can only aid us in conveying the message of Islam and da’wah, making our voices louder through the amplifier that is our actions.

Having said that, one point that most people tend to misinterpret is that; some might think that he or she can wait until all these qualities are developed before striving to do da’wah work. The writer responds with a resounding no.

What should be done is that both the da’wah work as well as the betterment of oneself should be done in parallel.

A very good analogy that one of the brothers came up with is that doing da’wah is like washing the dishes. When you are trying to wash and clean away the stains, inevitably you are cleaning your hands and fingers at the same time.

Similarly, when you are doing da’wah and trying to convey the message of da’wah and Islam to the people around you be it your friends or relatives, inevitably you are purifying your souls and reminding yourself of the messages that you are conveying.

It is up to you to decide.

Truly, this is only but a reminder, and of course for your own benefit, in this world and the hereafter.

May Allah (swt) forgives all of our sins and accepts all of the good deeds, God willing.

Crying in Front of Allah: It is NOT Impossible

Source: http://soundvision.com/Info/ramadan/10.cry.asp
by Abdul Malik Mujahid

When was the last time you cried? Not a few drops of salty water from your eyes, or the odd tear that slipped down your face while watching a tragic event.

I'm talking about warm tears of the heart. Tears that sting your face because they've been there so long, their bitter saltiness hurts your skin.

When was the last time you cried like a baby?

Aisha, may Allah be pleased with our mother, relates that: In the last ten of Ramadan, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, used to tighten his waist belt, pray all night, and wake up his family for the night prayers (Bukhari and Muslim).

Two thirds of Ramadan is gone. We powerless people will soon be looking for the Night of Power (Laylatul Qadr), which we are advised to seek in these last ten nights of Ramadan.

Aisha related that the Prophet said: Look for Laylatul Qadr on an odd-numbered night during the last ten nights of Ramadan (Bukhari).

We can't afford not to be crying in front of Allah, the Merciful, All-Aware.

Tears flow when we remember how much Allah has blessed us with and how much we disobey Him. We can never repay Allah for everything we have, yet we still blatantly commit sins both big and small: whether it's backbiting, hurting other human beings, not standing up for the truth, treating our family badly, lying, doing good deeds to show off, cheating, etc.

Allah opens ways out of problems for us, easing our burdens. Yet, we still disobey Him and take His Mercy for granted.

Abdullah ibn Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said he would rather shed two tears from the fear of Allah than give a thousand dinars in charity.

And the most telling example of a man who few would think would cry because of Allah is Umar, may Allah be pleased with him. He was known for being strong, fearless, and uncompromising when it came to matters of faith. Yet, Abdullah ibn Isa said that Umar had two black streaks on his face because of constant weeping.

He feared Allah so much that he once said, "If someone announced from the heavens that everybody will enter Paradise except one person, I would fear that that person would be me."

Umar was one of the strongest believers. Yet he cried and feared Allah. And Abu Bakr, he was simply known for his crying. These people loved to serve human beings in the day and spent time begging God to save humanity at night. May Allah be pleased with them.

Let's be more contemplative and pray for an awareness of and forgiveness for our sins, as well as softness in our hearts. If Umar the brave and pious did it, we have even more need and urgency to do it.

Human beings are in turmoil. Connecting with God with our hearts and begging for His Mercy for His Creation will bring us Closer to Him and human beings.

Frustrations: A Reminder

A few weeks back, I had been upset. Well, maybe a little more than upset. I was frustrated. For at that point, I felt down, as I feel that my friends don’t really care. The feeling had perhaps been nagging at the back of my mind for a couple of days, and finally exploded, I guess.

Avoiding my fellow course mates, silent tears spilled down. Distraught and frustrated, I called my best friend, who somewhat manages to comfort me. I calmed down a bit afterwards, take wudhu, and pray. Pray for strength, to overcome the sudden feeling of loneliness. I placed another call, this time to my mother. She made me realize a major flaw in my imaan then.

“What flaw?” you may wonder. Ummi made me realize… that I’ve been fooled into relying to my friends, instead of Allah. I’ve been tricked by syaitan, to hope and expect more of my friends rather than my Creator. Sure, I did not do so intentionally. Yet unconsciously, I had been doing that. I had been relying more on my friends rather than my Creator.

According to Ustadh Khurram Murad in his book, In The Early Hours, reliance on Allah is knowing that at every step of your journey Allah is there assisting you. And hence, you are not counting on others to get you through your days, your years at university, or even your exams.

In a way, I had been hoping too much for friends who would help me out, yet failed to remember that I can count only on Allah to help me, in whatever I do. But Alhamdulillah, the frustrations and sadness made me realize what my mind had unconsciously relied on all this while.

Well…. Let us think back and ponder, who did we rely on throughout our life? Is it really on Allah? Or… do we rely on our parents to give us happiness, comfort and money? Do we rely on our best friend to make us laugh? Do we rely on JPA or PTPTN to get us through university?

Parents and friends are not going to be around us forever. They can be taken away from us at any moment. JPA and PTPTN… well, they are there, as long as the economy is stable, and as long as our bank account is okey. Even that is not guaranteed. At the end of the day, the only true reliance which brings us happiness here, and even in the next life… is always Allah.

Ukhuwah is Sweet >> Spending Time Together is So Fun

Yesterday was fun!!Alhamdulillah....Jazakillah to all the makcik2 who made the outing happen. and also..thanks to them for the previous discussion session, of course.. it was a gem.. a very precious gem of the week... a week's provision for my imaan. insyaAllah, if time allows it, i will share those gems here. The works of translation and typing must be done first though.... really got to be closer to the friends in Johor. if previously we only met mostly at formal sessions, this time it is a bit different, which is nice. And u guys sure are good at playing those games..

the archery session... that was super fun. we went laughing all the way. and took a lot of pics. hope the person with the camera can send some pics to me. Though... undoubtedly my left hand is still sore from pulling the bow. Archery made me wonder... how did the sahabahs did it during the war? How did they untiringly shot arrows upon arrows, whereas i am absolutely tired by the tenth arrow i shot. and how did they manage to shoot fast moving targets as well... I did not manage to even shoot well the target circle (is that the name for it? hehehe..). I think I was enjoying myself a lot, and alhamdulillah, i even get a free game from the guy taking care of the counter. (^_^)

Bowling time was also nice. Though i was a bit sad because not all of us get to go. One car went back earlier. But the game was fun. Though yesterday i didn't really play well, but hey.. i don't mind much. Because being there with them all is fun enough.

Thank you..to the people who made the outing possible. And thanks to those who let us 'tumpang' their cars to the mall. and thank you.. to all of you who came. and thank you, Allah... You let me meet up with those great people, and allowed me to be there with them.

To those of you entering university after this, i'll be missing you guys..

>>Ukhuwah is beautiful... if we can meet and part in the cause of Allah<<

take good care of your imaan wherever you are. Remember the jewels we had gained yesterday, and all those we gained previously. Use them well... and search for more where you are. May we still be in this path towards Him wherever we are, and remain in this path, till we meet Him, out Owner and Creator.

Uhibbukum fiLlah wa liLlah..abadan abada!!

Who wants to Be Bankrupt??? Not me!!

Muslim narrated from Abu Hurayrah (May Allah be pleased with him)that,

the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him), said:
"Do you know who is the one who is bankrupt?"

They said, 'The bankrupt is the one who has no money and no possessions.'

He (Peace be upon him) said,
"Among my Ummah, the one who is bankrupt is the one who will come on the Day of Resurrection with prayer and fasting and Zakah (to his credit), but he will come having insulted this one, slandered that one, consumed the wealth of this one and shed the blood of that one, and beaten that one. So they will all be given some of his hasanaat, and when his hasanaat run out, before judgment is passed, some of their sins will be taken and cast onto him, then he will be cast into the Fire."

(Muslim: , Hadith no. 2581)

In a Dilemma.....

okey... i'm back to writing, Alhamdulillah...
though i've to admit, i owe another two posts here, the 'part 2 of pearls for the holidays' and also the confession.

well... i was browsing through my my debate yahoogroup mails... and suddenly discovered these debate motions for the recent Arau tournament. and i AM very surprised....
the motions (well..some of them..)

• That we would disallow the hijjab in all public offices
• That we would disallow parents to reject life-saving treatment for their children on religious grounds
• That the government would remove religion from public education

i was stunned... undoubtedly. yea.. i love debating. Because thru i, i learnt so much. And thru it, i've made many friends and grow a lot, as a person. Yet now... i am in a dilemma. Whether to continue debating or not. For suddenly, these sort of motions contradict with my principles. No, it's not just suddenly. I have been slightly feeling somewhat like this before, though not as intense.

That was during last semester's final practice camp before the AUDC at IIUM. I didn't join in the tournament for some unavoidable reason. But the practice went well at first. Everything was great. But this motion came up... " This House Believe That Cohabiting Couples Should be Protected". Yes, undoubtedly I was shocked. It was just so very immoral! from a muslim's point of view, at least. But Alhamdulillah, at the time, my team was chosen to be the opposition. So i was just on the stand that the motion cannot work. But at that point, i imagined what it would be like if I am forced to be the government. What will I say? Will I really be able to talk of something so obviously against my own belief? then afterwords, my friend got this other motion.. "This House Believe that Middle East Should Follow Western Liberal Democracy". That was like..wow.. how badly would i NOT want that to happen.

So i think my point is straighten out. I am in a dilemma for these types of motions, which goes against my own stand as a Muslim, and as a Da'ei. What will people say if they watch me debating, upholding something haram? What will I feel of myself? And furthermore, and what I am most scared of, what will Allah think of me?

Yes, debating is fun. Debating opens up a wide world of knowledge. I learned about world problems, get to know stuff from different views, learn about messy economics, and so much more. also not to mention amazing friends and improvements to how quick i get to come up with things, as it forces me to think on my feet. BUT... will I be able to continue after this? Will these problems be over? How may I face my team mates at collage? I truly hope i can find out the best way out of this mess. The best way to put my foot forward. so I will not disappoint myself, my friends and most importantly, Allah...

To my friends and readers.. if you have any idea at all, please drop your comments and views on the matter. I hope it caan help me sort thru things. May Allah guide us all in our way towards Him...

Pearls during The Holidays.. part 1

Alhamdulillah, after weeks of sitting around at home and vacationing here and there, yesterday, I was able to sit around with a few friends, recalling and reminding ourselves again of our aims, strategies and life, in general. Here I have decided to share some of the pearls as a reminder to us all…

Life in this world is so full of lies and traps, traps for those unaware of its dangers lurking in every corner they turn. And so few people are aware of these hazards. Those who realize the perils had to thread on carefully, as if they are on a very long road, with sharp, shattered glasses all around them. These people are clear of their destinations. Of the temporary world, just a path to get you on to the everlasting hereafter.

Verily the hereafter is better for you than the present, wherewith, u will be well pleased.

But yet, even those who are aware of this needs constant reminder. This is because the world and its riches, though temporary, are very tempting and alluring. One needs friends who are also focused on the same goal towards the hereafter to constantly remind each other from falling down.

>> Reality Strikes

Today’s reality is a threat to our personal development towards everlasting happiness. Now, the fitrah (human nature) for doing good deeds is not normal anymore. The norm now is the opposite, everything jahiliyyah is normal, while those doing good is not. A simple example is, inside universities… you’ll be seen as a weirdo if you say “Assalamualaikum” first, instead of “Hi!” to your course mates or friends. But no one minds if people greet each other in, “Weh, how’re things?” Choosing to follow Islam is now ‘un-cool’, for it is just not the ‘in’ thing to do. A very sad reality indeed.

‘Reality bites’,so they say… yes, now it does. These phenomenon and everyday occurrences are getting worse. It relates back to not only greetings, but also the friends we make, things we do, and what our principles are. Which is very dangerous. For this leads to many social ills and may even cause people to slip out of this deen, in other words, murtad. When the jahiliyyah becomes a norm, couples, clubs and social outings become common. Those who went to masjids become aliens.

What about principles, you may ask. Well, more and more people are caught up with the fun lifestyle, and end up thinking, “life is short, so enjoy it!” What happens to our life in the next world then? Yes, life is short, extremely short, so… why should we want to enjoy so much of it? The next life is so much longer. We are going to live there forever. Should we compromise this life for enjoyment, if the next will be so very painful? Should we spend our time in happiness here, for a few short hours in clubs, or telling the latest juicy gossips, and compromise a lifetime of pain in the next world? The time will come, for sure. All of us will die, some way or other. We die regardless of age and time. Some die young, while others old. Let us not die, and face Allah with actions which will cause us to regret. For the punishment we face there, is not something light. It is not just a pinch on the arm, nor a punch in the eye. Fire is what you’ll get, for those short, so called enjoyable minute. Nauzubillahiminzalik!

..: Nafs vs Iman - Who is Winning??:..

Haven’t been writing any entries for a while…

I mean, real entries, not just a bit here and there, nor forwarded ones or from other people…

Hoping to write something tomorrow, yes, alhamdulillah, I have something to share… but I’m feeling too tired today to type them up now. Today has been a busy day for me, one that is full of self reflections of the past few weeks of my life. Yea, I'll share what gemstones i have found today from those around me here, insyaAllah tomorrow.

a confession: I’ve done something I should not have, and really regretting them now… but I’m not ready to write them down here. I’ve to try and improve first. Repent and let go. Hope that Allah will forgive me or the mistake I did. Thank You Allah, for friends that care and help me see my wrongs. Thank You also for not taking me deeper into the mess I’ve made. And thank You for making me realize that what I did was WRONG, and giving me this strength to stop before I did anything more foolish.

I’ll write the experience in here, insyaAllah, when I’m ready… but the time may not be today, nor tomorrow. One day soon, hopefully. But thank you, to all my friends out there, virtual ones and real ones, who have prayed for me as their sister in Islam, and also for all of those who had thought me what it meant to be a Muslim, and the face of nafs, jahiliyyah and syaitan.

May Allah’s light always glow inside our hearts, insyaAllah…

....groWinG pAins....

Growing up…

Maturing….

As times past by,

As minutes become hours,

And the hours turn to days… and finally years…

With time, comes responsibility

With age comes complications and commitments

Of hopes and fears…

Those dearest to us

Hoping to make them happy

Yet… not knowing if we’re ready

To take on the challenge

To be the best

To make them proud

Oh Allah…

Help me get through with all life’s challenges ahead

Help me to please those dearest to me

Make me better, as time moves on

Help me to get closer to You

Increase my love for You

Improve myself in all aspects

To gain Your Love and redha

To stand tall despite the challenges that faces me

To be able to face each day, no matter how difficult,

With a smile and praise to You

And dear Lord…

Thank you….

For lighting up my heart

For guiding my path

Do not turn our hearts away from this deen

Please… don’t let our lives be carved with other hands, except your own

I beg You… if I die…

Today, or tomorrow… or years to come,

Make me die as a syaheed in upholding Islam

Or at least, as a mu’min trying to protect my faith…

Ameen...

Completed: 19 June 08

Precious moments of our LiFe

taken from an article i think we can all reflect on.. Source: Detik2 dlm kehidupan by Adil Zamani.
I've translated it from Malay... so sorry if there are any mistakes!

Every morning, the sun rises as a symbol of a new day for all of us. Each of us go through the phenomenon of the alteration of the light and the day ever since we’re born. Yet, how many of us really use each days and nights to its fullest?

How many of us are able to save ourselves from the loss at this world, and moreover the hereafter?

A person is said to be in a great loss, in a really devastating loss, if seconds past by, minutes fly by, and hours go by without any increase in our iman nor amal. Ma’rifatullah doesn’t increase despite the increase in age. Obedience to Allah does not increase, even though precious time passes by.

Dear friends,

Look at the precious seconds that had flew by. Did your iman led you to the strengthening of your ma’rifatullah, increased obedience to Allah, and mahabbatullah? It is a great loss, a really great loss in our life, if the moments that Allah had given us have not increased our ma’rifatullah, obedience and love to Him.

Does time that past by brings about increase in our iman, or its decline? There is no terminology such as ‘static’ in the development graph of iman. It is either we are undergoing an increase, or a decline.

Ibnu Qayyim al-Jauziyah had wrote: “Varily Allah had designed the heart to get to know Him (ma’rifatullah), to obey His commands, and to love Him (mahabbatullah). And if these three processes are not occurring, then the heart is sick.”

What is the condition of our heart? One of the reality of the someone that had gone astray is the failure to observe the heart, until a heart that is alive is weakened, sick, and in the end, it may lead to the death of the heart. If the heart is dead due to our own fault, Ibn Qayyim said, “You are a killer!” You have killed your own heart.

The ‘death’ of the heart may not be felt by its owner, unless by the will of Allah, the arRahman. No, the death of the heart will not stop the increase of age. Physically, life still go on, but the heart had stopped functioning. This is death, even before the last breathe had been taken!

Dearest friends and future hope of Islam,

Be scared of the day when the heart is dead, but you are not aware of it. Your body will just be a ‘grave’ which had a ‘dead heart’ inside it.

Be worried of the day when you put up your hands, but Allah refuses to help you again!


Let us look carefully at the precious times we have had. Let us think of the condition of our hearts. Let us not let the precious seconds tick by, without bringing any good at all to us.