Lost....

 

Lost… somewhere in the mist.  A suffocating mist of alien emotions and unknown feelings.  What?  I’m not sure.  Honestly, I don’t know. 

 

This is what I am currently feeling.  Unsettled.  For a few days already, actually.  Why?  That was the same question that even I cannot answer currently.

 

My mind wandered on… though admittedly with its limited capabilities, it may not know enough. Yet it pondered on, in search for answers.  Meanwhile, my heart remains at its unsettled state, despite efforts upon efforts made to calm it.  Is it crying? Well… perhaps not.  Not that I can see it.  Is it bleeding, or sick?  Well, maybe. 

 

“It hurts… somehow…”  from somewhere inside, a small voice admitted.  And my mind took charge again.  Why is it in the particular state? 

 

Is my heart far from remembering Allah lately?  Did I do anything that brings His anger?  Is my amal fewer now than it was before?  Or… is it because I’m missing someone?

 

Still trying to figure out..

And my heart is crying… again.

 

Signing  off…