
[Written by a Muslim brother, for a nationwide essay competition in Canada. Needless to say, he took the first prize]
"Fill the world with color, paint it everywhere you go:: Paint everything you see, and tell everyone you know:: Quran Will be your paint, and your brush will be Iman:: So fill the world with color... every color of Islam."


Assalamualaikum wbt... In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, most Merciful.
Just a post to say... I'm sorry. To everyone who know me, virtually or in reality. Sorry for any mistakes I had made. Sorry for the hurt I may have caused. And sorry if, by any chance, anything I had done had hurt or offend any of you, in any way.
For those who went to any schools, camps or workshops with me, and for those who travelled together with me during the holidays, I'm sorry if I was noisy. Sorry if I ask too many questions, interrupted too often, or talked too much.
I am me. Though I try to improve, I know that I cannot change all at once. Plus… what I do, at the time, was what I felt was right.
I talked of Islam, of da'wah, and tarbiyah, not because I am perfect. Nor because I am a girl who had done so much herself. No, I am also just a girl who still have much to learn. But I share, because I care. Because I would dearly love my friends to understand what these matters mean, and to get involved in working for Islam as well. Furthermore, I wish that we can work together, in upholding this deen, and meet again in Jannah, insyaAllah. For I know that, despite the hardships of this road, at the end, Allah had promised His Pleasure and His paradise. Also because I hope, that one day, if I forget, someone will be there to remind me, and pull me back up in this path.
Then again, I know that sometimes, I do say things which is inapropriate, or unnecessary. And sometimes, because I am too direct, I tend to say things that may hurt people. I am trying to improve, but this does take time. So, I apologize. I admit that I talk without thinking first, at times. Forgive me for that, as well.
There are many other things about me, weaknesses which I am trying to overcome, and strength that I intend to, hopefully, improve on. Forgive me for the weaknesses, and do remind me, to help me improve myself. I am me, and I cannot change overnight. For who I am now, is based on the past experiences I have, the places I travelled to, and the understandings and beliefs which I hold to. Yet, I am trying to improve, to be a better girl, a better daughter, a better friend, a better citizen, a better Muslimah, and most importantly, be a better servant to Allah. Thus, I welcome you to help me along the journey. Lead me on, and guide me towards His pleasure.
Before I end, I'd like to repeat, I am sorry, everyone.
And Jazakumullahukahiran kathira, to those of you who have helped me so far. May Allah reward your deeds…
Forgive me..
_humayra_

A man planted a rose and watered it faithfully, and before it blossomed, he examined it. He saw the bud that would soon blossom and also the thorns. And he thought, "How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns?" Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and before it was ready to bloom, it died.
So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. God like qualities planted in us at birth growing amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects. We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us.
We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential. Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them.
One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns and find the rose within others. This is the characteristic of love, to look at a person,and knowing his faults, recognize the nobility in his soul, and help him realize that he can overcome his faults. If we show him the rose, he will conquer the thorns. Then will he blossom, blooming forth thirty, sixty, a hundred-fold as it is given to him. Our duty in this world is to HELP others by SHOWING THEM THEIR ROSES and not their thorns. Only then can we achieve the love we should feel for each other; only then can we bloom in our own garden.

What was to happen to me? Am I just a body, and my goal in life is merely to satisfy this body? Why am I here?
Say: "Truly, my prayer and my service of sacrifice, my life and my death are (all) for Allah, the Cherisher of the Worlds (surah al-Aa'raf: 162)
... No partner has He: this am I commanded, and I am the first of those who bow to His Will". Say: "Shall I seek for (my) Cherisher other than Allah when He is the Cherisher of all things (that exist)?" Every soul draws the meed of its acts on none but itself: no bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another. Your goal in the end is toward Allah: He will tell you the truth of the things wherein you disputed. It is He who hath made you (His) agents, inheritors of the earth: He has raised you in ranks some above others: that he may try you (ie, test) in the gifts He has given you: for thy Lord is quick in punishment: yet He is indeed Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (al- A'araf: 163-165)

Recently, my brother came back from his journey to the place where millions of Muslims go every year. That's right, Makkah al-Mukarramah and Madinatul Munawwarah. He spent his mid year holiday there, doing umrah and visiting the places where Rasulullah PBUH and his companions had lived, strived and fought, in order to uphold Islam. His photos have had me travelling thru memory lane, reminding me of my own trip when I was in form 4. And yes, I really, really miss being in the Haramain.
Alhamdulillah, Allah had given me the opportunity to go there, to see and experience for myself the peace and tranquality of humbling myself before The Almighty in front of the Ka'bah and witnessing the place where the messanger of Allah had worked so hard to spread the words from Allah. I was unable to describe the waves of emotions that surged through me at the time. My prayers focused, my heart calm, and tears of taubah and happiness ran down easily from my face.
I might not remember all the visits to the numerous places along with the haramain, but I kept thinking of how much the first generation of Muslims had given themselves for Islam, selflessly, with every possible way. May Allah bless them, and may Allah allow us to meet them in Jannah, insyaAllah…
One thing I do remember is that, by the will of Allah, when I went there, it was just after one major turning point of my life. A time when, just previously, I had realized what being a servant to Allah meant. A time when I realized that His Love is THE one that is worth pursueing, before searching for any others. And that it is useless to seek for any other love, that makes you neglect, and even go against Him.
Yes, I cried a lot there… hoping for forgiveness for forgetting that fact. And hoping that He can lead me on, and give me strength to overcome my own weakness, and strengthen my iman. If the 'someone' is meant for me, then allow me to focus first on what is important, my faith, and my studies. And if he is not, then may Allah grant me someone better then him, for myself, and my deen.
Looking back to those days, I think, alhamdulillah, that I have improved. Improved a lot, in terms of understanding and practicing my faith. And, although not always successful, I try, and still am, trying to put Allah's love in front of any others.
My dream? Of course, to go to Makkah and Madinah again soon, insyaAllah. This time, using my own money. When will that be? I pray that I may go there as soon as possible. That is, once I do have a stable income when I finished my studies, insyaAllah…
**this post is sort of like a diary… I don't normally disclose stuff about myself and my feelings, but this time I had. Hope the readers don't mind.