Troubles come and go. Sometimes it piles up, one on top of the other. At times, it feels like one cannot take it anymore. Sometimes, one just lets everything go. Shut down. Hibernate. Call it whatever you want. This is what happens, I guess.
But Allah is always there. Waiting for us to get back to him. Patiently, He waits. With gentle reminders, time and time again. "Get back on track." He whispers. A sudden, unexpected question from a friend. A timely sharing of article from another. A sudden drive to do what was obviously wrong, which works as though someone had just dumped a bucket of cold water on your face (the simile is weird, but yeah, that's how it seems).
All along, a flashing red light keeps sending warning signals inside my head. One that would have been noticed easily, had this girl been alright in the first place. Yet she keeps suppressing them, covering her eyes from the reality. "Ignore them. You're facing too much already as it is."
Yeah, that was the case, till a few days ago. Hence the hiatus. From blogging, from being the old me.
I snapped out of it, Alhamdulillah, with Allah's help. He pulled me through. Though everything is not completely over, it is indeed a much needed start. Have had a lot of damage control that needs to be done, though. A heart in need of repair. Thoughts to sort out, priorities to be set. And a multitude of repentance to Him, for time wasted, for neglecting to turn to Him in healing my wound.
But Alhamdulillah. Thank You Allah. For giving me the opportunity to go to the meet in that house up the hill. Where they had, unintentionally, reminded me, again and again, of my little heart that had been neglected. Thank You, Allah. For sending my old pal to hear me out. To tell me everything will be fine. Even though she had to lend her ears at midnight, when everyone else was asleep. When she had to wake up extremely early the next day. Most of all… thank You, Allah. For showing me the way, guiding me, puling me back, again and again, to the right way, when I stumble and fall.
Trials and tribulations come and go. Hopefully, the next time they come, I won't break down like I had this time. Hopefully, the next time they come, I turn to Him first, instead of wasting a whole lot of time dealing with them with my emotions. Next time, hopefully, I checked my connections with Allah in my heart first, before dealing with it any other way.
|Need to check my heart... how is its connections with Allah??|
Next time anything comes up, I hope, I can remember this verse:
"Or do you think that you shall enter the Garden (of Bliss) without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They encountered suffering and adversity and were so shaken in spirit that even the Messenger and those of faith who were with him cried: "When (will come) the help of Allah?" Ah! verily the help of Allah is (always) near." (al-Baqarah: 214)Yeah, life in this world is full of tests. Otherwise, how will we be able to gain Jannah?
|Allah knows what's best for us. Always. And He knows, what is going on with our life. More than we do, actually.|
This time round, Allah had shown me, again and again, that He is most Merciful. Apparently I forgot that, too… (yeah, it is so easy to say them. But when it boils down to the need to understand them in my heart, I forget, sometimes.)
"Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (az-Zumar: 53)
Sharing this for anyone who is going through the same thing. May Allah guide us, and help us all remain in the right path, no matter what comes our way. Writing this down, so that I can be reminded again in the future, too. If there comes a time when the going gets rough. And sharing this, so that each of us are reminded. That we have an important duty as a friend: to help our friends out when they face with difficulties. No, not in terms of money, but even lending an ear to listen to their woes helps a lot. If you are far away, or when you are nearby, send them a prayer once a while. It makes a whole lot of difference to a person. Indeed.
May Allah guide us all. For without His guidance, we are nothing, nothing at all…
I might be talking in a riddle, today. But I hope the message got through, anyway.
May Allah bless.