Jamuan Raya... Do forgive me!

Assalamualaikum....

I didn't go. so sorry to let you guys down. I know, it is indeed the last year we'll enjoy Hari Raya together as students, hence the last jamuan Raya as a class, too. But can't go. Because to me it didn't seem right.

Lasting memories..
Thanks a lot everyone!
Love u all, for HIS sake...

Yeah, it does not seem right.  To my principles, at least.  Of what I understand of how Allah allows me to deal with different genders.  Yes, I know, my views might be rigid.  Yet this is what I hold on to, since I was in school.  What I try to uphold, despite failing to do so, many times these years in university.  

What is it that I try to hold on to?  That Allah s.w.t.'s words "do not come near zina" entails me to limit my communication with the opposite gender.  No, not that I cannot be friends with men, but I try to deal with men, when required.  This does not mean that I don't care what happens to my classmates of the different gender. I do care.  But it means limiting unnecessary talks, discussions, and laughter.  This is how I understand, from my teachers and parents, since form 3.  This, is where I learn and draw my own guideline to my social rules.

As I said, I failed so many times already.  No one else's fault but mine, of course.   The chatterbox who enjoys chatting to people, and laugh quite often, too.  Yet I tried my hardest to stay true to this principle.  Truth be told, each time I realized I went way overboard (in my own view) I was sad.  Really sad.

Thus I decide not to come.  Not because I care not.  Not because of the many loads of assignments (oh, I know, you have as much as I do, if not more!).  I love all of you, a lot.  I wish to spend time with you guys too, share and build up memories of the times we have together as classmates.  But to me the Jamuan is against my principles, and I believe that Allah does not allow me to be part of it.   I have so many faults, that I dare not pile them up, and get Allah angry. 

Forgive me!  and I love you all, and I pray, that Allah will give all of us, you and me, happiness and blessings, here and in the next life.  

Let us try our fullest to live the way he wants, and love HIM, above all else.

May ALlah bless!