Frustrations: A Reminder

A few weeks back, I had been upset. Well, maybe a little more than upset. I was frustrated. For at that point, I felt down, as I feel that my friends don’t really care. The feeling had perhaps been nagging at the back of my mind for a couple of days, and finally exploded, I guess.

Avoiding my fellow course mates, silent tears spilled down. Distraught and frustrated, I called my best friend, who somewhat manages to comfort me. I calmed down a bit afterwards, take wudhu, and pray. Pray for strength, to overcome the sudden feeling of loneliness. I placed another call, this time to my mother. She made me realize a major flaw in my imaan then.

“What flaw?” you may wonder. Ummi made me realize… that I’ve been fooled into relying to my friends, instead of Allah. I’ve been tricked by syaitan, to hope and expect more of my friends rather than my Creator. Sure, I did not do so intentionally. Yet unconsciously, I had been doing that. I had been relying more on my friends rather than my Creator.

According to Ustadh Khurram Murad in his book, In The Early Hours, reliance on Allah is knowing that at every step of your journey Allah is there assisting you. And hence, you are not counting on others to get you through your days, your years at university, or even your exams.

In a way, I had been hoping too much for friends who would help me out, yet failed to remember that I can count only on Allah to help me, in whatever I do. But Alhamdulillah, the frustrations and sadness made me realize what my mind had unconsciously relied on all this while.

Well…. Let us think back and ponder, who did we rely on throughout our life? Is it really on Allah? Or… do we rely on our parents to give us happiness, comfort and money? Do we rely on our best friend to make us laugh? Do we rely on JPA or PTPTN to get us through university?

Parents and friends are not going to be around us forever. They can be taken away from us at any moment. JPA and PTPTN… well, they are there, as long as the economy is stable, and as long as our bank account is okey. Even that is not guaranteed. At the end of the day, the only true reliance which brings us happiness here, and even in the next life… is always Allah.